![ova dio ova dio](http://pa1.narvii.com/6205/cee7dde0f25ccf039a8a8fff940435e81f018ab8_hq.gif)
Wiz: Because, should Dio's vampire body be subjected to sunlight, he will instantly disintegrate.īoomstick: So, what did Dio do? Well, he cut off his own head, killed Jonathan on his wedding night, and attached his head to JoJo's body. Luckily, his plans were foiled again by his old frenemy, JoJo, who beat Dio's ass with a martial art that uses the power of the sun: Hamon. Just for kicks.īoomstick: We've met a lot of real pieces of shit on this show, Wiz, but I'm startin' to think Dio takes the cake. Wiz: Dio used his powers to raise a zombie army to conquer the world. So he is basically a vampire! Though I guess the fangs are just for decoration because he sucks blood through his fingers! Eugh! Wiz: Another similar vampire, Straits, survived being blown to pieces and just pulled himself back together.īoomstick: All Dio needs is some blood to speed up the process.
![ova dio ova dio](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/31/c5/d7/31c5d79583813e4f485d84b61eb442ac--dio-jojos-bizarre-adventure.jpg)
He's been burnt alive, impaled through the head, bisected, decapitated, lost limbs, filled with bullets, and had a huge hole punched in his chest not once, not twice, but three times. Even more insane is Dio's healing factor. Dio can create mind-controlling flesh buds from his hair follicles, vaporize the moisture in his body to freeze anything he touches, and fire beams of pressurized fluids that can split the sky.īoomstick: Pressurized fluids? Heh heh. He can hear a heartbeat through the ground, fly through the air, and hypnotize you with just a glance. Instead of turning you into an unholy demon, the Stone Mask eliminates your body's natural limitations.īoomstick: Making him way stronger, faster, and tougher than any human. Wiz: Okay, so he's not technically a vampire like, say, Dracula. All seemed lost until Dio pulled out his Plan B, an ancient stone mask that turned him into a vampire. Wiz: But after years of emotional manipulation, Dio's twisted assassination plot was foiled by his righteous step-brother.īoomstick: With help from the interfering Speedwagon. Only one thing stood in his way: his new brother, Jonathan Joestar, AKA JoJo.īoomstick: Dio tried to go all alpha wolf on JoJo by engaging in such classic sibling pranks as beating him up, molesting his girlfriend, and setting his dog on fire! Jesus! You give that creepy dog murderer what for, JoJo! Dio planned to kill his new father, George Joestar, and take his fortune for himself. Wiz: And he'd get his chance to act when he was adopted into the wealthy Joestar Family. Wiz: Born a penniless street rat with a cunning mind in the slums of Victorian London, Dio was humiliated by his poverty and abused by his alcoholic father.īoomstick: His bitter resentment and small dick energy would lead to a lifelong desire for ultimate power and immortality, to reach a place over heaven. Wiz: Imagine, if you can, someone so wicked that the sheer magnitude of their unholy dickishness literally destroyed the universe.īoomstick: You might think they'd have to be no less than the devil himself. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win. What do ya get when you combine them? Two of the meanest monsters out there! Wiz: Vampires, the spawn of nightmares formed from the blackest pits of man's demented imagination.īoomstick: Anime, basically the same thing. Wiz: Dio Brando, everlasting adversary of the Joestar bloodline.īoomstick: Alucard, undying enforcer of the Hellsing Organization. (*Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates*)